Rich Girl Acoustic

Suck It Virgins. This is a better song


m

PROLOW IS TWENTY FIVE (EP is officially in works)

on this day, at some hour and minute unknown to matt and i, the world ushered in a baby boy with an intense hatred of technology. with uncooperative digits, this child somehow managed to master the art of the guitar, all the while bypassing the douchey guitar kid stereotypes by staying far away from jack johnson and jimmy buffet.
tonight, and for the rest of tomorrow, i imagine, we will celebrate andrew t. prolow's equidistant age between 20 and 30 by getting shitfaced and making him relive horribly embarassing moments in his life.
to honor prolow, i have created this image of prolow achieving his lifelong goal of conquering the shit out of technology. he already has robot ears, the robot army is next...

happy birthday fool


alright my babies, thats all for now
xoxoxox
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FAT BABY INVITE

Philly (we went on tour)

HEllo All (i am not proofreading this.....)

Well. I am now sitting alone. Watching my bass player....sleeping on top of annalisa... I am listening to third eye blind rocking...Our hosts the hoffmans plus jackie.... (the hoffmans can make anything cool...their cars are amazing...and their bikes as well.... ) have been amazing....

We played in Phillly! but... the booking agent--rachel--fucked us (fuck her). She went MIA and left us with out a PA... we played...we conquered....The show is going to go down as a VH1 storytellers vibe.... I played with nothing....still pouting... The rest played with their amps on zero.... and eric/benson sang without mikes.... Even though it was not ideal we did well....once in a lifetime... the ride down...(benson and my bro dealing with my horrible driving skills/ abandoning the car) The show.... A gay club....after party..made 40 bucks....Thanks to everyone who came !


i have been using a lot of ..................................................................................


It has been a lot of fun....I think our songs got across... from moments to inked star.... Prolow is having a bday party on JAn 17th everyone is invited.... we might play an actual set....
BUT we need everyone out on JAN 23rd!!! huge show.... we will be playing with the shooting gallery... and it should be massive....oh wait... it is at FAT BABY!!! come... 10 PM


A lot to say but not able to speak it....


Love one another.... Please


Safe


M


P.s We are planning to hit up Chuckie Cheese tomorrow... in cherry hill be there.....

THE QUICK AND THE DEAD

first and foremost, happy new years my babies

now sit back and let me paint you a picture...

it is new year's eve. prolow and i are hanging out, putting away as much shitty alcohol as our bodies will allow while our girlfriends watch us uncomfortably. now to be completely honest, new year's was not a terribly momentous occasion as far as hello midnight evenings are concerned. i went to work, got off, picked up some wine and champagne, came home and hung out with my roommate and girlfriend. the only thing out of the ordinary was that all day, i kept jokingly promising prolow that at the stroke of midnight, we would duel with our champagne corks and that i would crush him in the face with my cork. hardly prophetic. OR SO YOU ALL THINK.

our story leaps forward a few hours...

it is now 11:54 or so. all i can remember at this point is turning off an episode of always sunny so that we could watch the ball drop. and, much more importantly, throw down. the ball drops, dick clark reminds america just how horrible he looks these days, blah blah, whatever, IT IS FUCKING GO TIME. i put on some protective sunglasses and tell prolow to do the same. now just to put this all in perspective, i am about 2 drinks from falling flat on my face and still won't shut up about prolow's imminent doom. in an uncommon act of sheer burl-itude, prolow walks about 8 feet away from me and says for me to just go ahead and try to hit him.

at this point in the story, prolow becomes gene hackman and i become the hairiest sharon stone you have ever seen.

long story belatedly made short, i fire off the bottle of korbel and the cork crushes gene hackman square between the eyes, throwing his glasses away and thoroughly surprising the shit out of everyone present, most of all myself, who immediately squealed "oh my god are you okay?? holy shit i am so sorry! i am so sorry!"

too amazed at the improbability of what just happened to be angry, prolow hugged me and said that was the most amazing thing he had ever bore witness to. i think he was just scared i would shoot him again, but he was a good sport.

this is my overly circuitous way of explaining to you all that i had a retardedly amazing new year's eve, and can think of no other way i would have liked to start this year.

take it easy my babies

xoxoxox

BENSAUHNAhsdfiasunfaksuhfaisfn

Hoth

It is fucking cold.....we just cut benson open and are warming up inside of him

eric

BABY SMASHING

DRUNK
PETE
vol. 1

Chapter One
So this morning I woke up at 1:30 hung over as balls with blood on my face, a bandaid on my hand that looked as if it was applied by a monkey, and that horrible feeling that I did something retarded the night before. Of course, I was correct in this assumption. I swear, blacking out is the closest thing to time travel that I will ever accomplish. It is like an exact scene out of Terminator: One day I am bro-ing out with the band, having a couple of drinks, then suddenly I am naked in the fetal position the next day nauseous ready to fucking kill somebody. But I digress; what sort of night led to this trainwreck of a friday morning? Unfortunately, I don't have enough time nor the actual recollection of last night's events to accurately describe what took place. However with the aid of my associates, we have been able to compile a rough list of the events that took place from 7:30 pm to 5:00 am....


Chapter Two
So yesterday was the day Hello Midnight designated for our annual Secret Santa Holiday Party. After picking up a bottle of the world's shittiest Cognac for Prolow, I headed home to find a bright orange reminder of just how destitute we are on the door. That's right. The officials of Jersey City officially condemned our house saying that it is "UNSAFE FOR HUMAN OCCUPANCY." Stellar. Naturally we decided to celebrate this dubious event after practice by exchanging Secret Santa presents (all of which were alcohol) and having ourselves a private holiday party. Now to be perfectly honest, none of us can say with any certainty exactly what happened over the course of the night because we all got as shitfaced as we could possibly get. However, after sitting down and fleshing out what we all could remember, we were able to create this rough list of last night's events...

Shirtless iPod karaoke (Bon Jovi was a particularly popular selection)
Smashing of the Baby Bass
Smashing of the Prolow
Cutting open my Hand/War-Painting my face with blood
Secret Santa
Flexing Contest
Clap Push-up Demonstration
HITZ domination (Eric, suck a dick)
Cigarette Scavenger Hunt
Shitfaced Landscape Painting
Summer Sausage Smorgasbord (there was actually a piece of deli meat)
Inventing of Secret Handshakes
ERIC FINALLY SLEPT IN HIS BED

Here is a video of when the baby got smashed....


When I first sat down to write this, I thought I was going to have to give a play by play account of how the night unfolded. However after listing all the stupid shit we did, I feel like the night sort of describes itself.

Alright my babies, that's all for now. Right now we are all just sitting around recovering and watching some amazing seventies movie called Cheerleaders Beach Party. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure that it isnt a porn. Anyway, keep listening. stay classy.

xoxoxoxoxox
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